Masturbation

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SEXY AS FUCK
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This article has a lot of sexy images/words, which means that it most likely would pass for erotica. You may just find yourself fapping about halfway through, or you may explode from spontaneous combustion. CAN YOU HANDLE THE SEXINESS!?

*fap fap fap*

Wikipedia
Wikisplodebig.gif For the people that have lost their sense of humor, the nerds at Wikipedia have an article about Masturbation.
A girl masturbating. Wow!

Masturbation is...um...I don't know. Let me look it up...

Okay, I looked up masturbation, and according to Wikipedia, it is "the sexual stimulation of one's own genitals for sexual arousal or other sexual pleasure, usually to the point of orgasm." Basically, it's playing with your dick or pussy until white stuff comes out, usually for kinky shit or to sex up you or another person (you better not be gay. Lesbians are fine).

Who does it?[edit | edit source]

Everyone. Adults do it to keep their love for one another warm, and teens do it for the hell of it. Then there are the young ones who masturbate, aged 10 and younger. Some babies have done it, and one Italian girl had an orgasm before she was even born.

But isn't it unhealthy or weird?[edit | edit source]

Not at all. In fact, it's actually good. You see, um... let me look at Wikipedia again... Aha! "Sex therapists sometimes recommend that female patients take time to masturbate to orgasm; for example, to help improve sexual health and relationships, to help determine what is erotically pleasing to them, and because mutual masturbation can lead to more satisfying sexual relationships and added intimacy." In a nutshell, sex therapists want you (if you're a girl) to jack off during a session because it could save your marriage. And it can cure depression (finally!) and boost your self-esteem.

Using objects for masturbation is also good, as long as you don't use anything sharp or that can cause cancer. Did you know that a German woman had to go to the hospital because she put two pencils in her urethra (what the fuck is that?) while masturbating?[1]

How old is masturbation?[edit | edit source]

Even the Greeks did it.

It actually goes back to about 10,000 BCE.

What are the types of masturbation?[edit | edit source]

There are three:

  • Normal: You use your hand or a vibrator on your dick/pussy.
  • Sex Slave Type Thing?: Someone else uses their hand or a vibrator on your dick/pussy.
  • Kakouna: This one comes from Japan and is exclusively for girls. Basically, it's when a girl rubs her pussy on a table or a pole or something that isn't her hand. Got it?

Want more?[edit | edit source]

Go here to watch videos of girls masturbating!

References[edit | edit source]